My Birthday is Tomorrow…

dog birthday picture
A picture gift from my insane Cousin. She is slightly crazier than me.

….and it can truly kiss my ass. I will be real here and tell you that this has been the worse, the worse year of my life with the exception of 2003 when my father died. Look, the remainder of this post will be a wine fest so I don’t blame you if you leave now. If you stay, please grab some cheese to go with my wine because it’s pretty strong.

In 2014 I had my dream job as a Buyer for a small company. I increased sales by roughly 40%, had a team I loved and they loved me. Once the new HR Manager joined the team I was a little honest with her in telling her 2/3 of the staff got drunk at lunch and returned to work. I had told my Merchant team up front the following:

“Look, I can put down a bottle of Cabernet on any given Tuesday evening. As part of my team, don’t drink at lunch, k?” They were more than fine with this.

Two weeks after my revelation to HR or 6 weeks before Christmas, my Jersey Shore boss (wearing a blue tooth, I kid you not) and the new HR Manager came into my office and sat on my sofa. They fired me for “not being a good fit and assured me I did ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong.” I was given a large severance and that was it. I seeked the advice of a lawyer who said although what they did was legal, they would eventually be their own worst enemy in their procedures. In a nutshell it was easier to fire the whistle blower then all of IT and most of Marketing.

4.5 months later in April, 2015, I had a “boob itch” while reading in bed one morning. To my shock I found a lump. I purposely did not do breast checks because let’s be real here, ignorance is bliss.

So, a physician checkup, a mammogram, a core biopsy and lumpectomy later, it was determined I had Atypical Ductal Hyperlasia. What the hell is that, you ask? Basically your chances of getting breast cancer went from 0 to like a 200% chance. Awesome, but that’s about right given my luck.

My Oncologist started me on Tamoxifen. I would be on this for the next 5 years. What blows is I have hot flashes. I thought hot flashes equaled no period but alas I would still get them. There was a good part though, I lost my appetite! I went from 142 to about 132. FREAKIN’ AWESOME! Look, don’t judge me, tryin’ to find the silver lining here.

After my own personal research I realized that my anti-depressant voids the work of the tamoxifen. Neither doctor, though I love both, failed to realize this. I don’t hold any resentment for this, they are only human and have a million things to think about.  I only found this through research. So I had to go off my anti-depressants which was super sweet given oh I don’t know….everything! I found a pharmacist that was able to recommend several vitamins to counter the depression. I am still in the process in deciding on if this will work or not.

Lastly, the icing on the cake is my job. I am a stiletto wearing fashionista who at the 11th hour of my unemployment found a position as a boot buyer for a Southwest company located in the Midwest. I knew I would get this job because simply, funny finds me. I have come to appreciate the handmade side of boots and I love wearing them. My boss on the other side is what horror movies are made of. Rest assured, if I can get enough followers/likes, I will be bringing you stories of this hot mess. Hilarious, I can assure you.





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