Are You Thrown Under the Bus at Work Like Me?

I am always astounded by the number of co-workers that throw people under the bus either consciously or unconsciously. It takes a certain kind of unhappy asshole. One specific co-worker attempts to not only throw me under the bus, but in front of them as well as push me off a subway platform. Is that an expression? If not, it should be. It’s like our families have had an ancient feud and she’s been trained all her life by the greatest bitches that have walked the Earth, to make me look like a moron.

I knew things weren’t going to go well in the first 30 seconds of our introduction:

“It’s so nice to meet you,” I said extending a hand, relieved I was no longer the newest person.

“I was your runner up,” she said to me like I ditched her for a lunch and deserved an explanation.

Excuse me? 

Trying to remove the instant awkward she had placed on the conversation, I smiled and responded with, “well Runner Up, it’s very nice to meet you.” Right or wrong, that was my split second response.

Fast forward 2 months and the assaults are consistent. The most obvious are in e-mail communication. When I e-mail her about one of her mess ups, I e-mail her without our boss cc’ed on them…..because I’m not an asshole. Once she realizes I too have contributed to a mistake, she immediately cc’s my boss and explains how difficult my error has made her job and how much time this has cost her. Like an errant child who needs to learn, she then proceeds to explain the proper process, making sure to lay out each step and why it’s so important for the company. Occasionally she’ll sum up the e-mail (just one more time) of how detrimental my mistake was.

From a social perspective, all my co-workers love Runner Up. They can’t figure out why I have issues. Runner Up bends over backwards for other co-workers, joking with them or talking like an 80 year old Chinese man (I don’t know if this is a nervous thing but it’s odd and annoying) when responding to questions or dropping something off at their desk, engaging in friendly banter. On her way back to her desk, her eyes stay straight never glancing down at me to acknowledge my existence.

Once we had a project we were stuck together to complete. We had to put labels on various products in the warehouse as they were behind and needed help. We stood in silence most of the time at the large processing tables.

When I opened up my 67th box and pulled the items out to process, I noticed from the corner of my eye that she had looked up and was staring at the goods. She then mumbled something inaudible.

“I’m sorry I didn’t hear you,” I said as I cupped my ear.

She repeated herself but in little to no increased tone. She made no effort to walk closer either. By now I felt annoyed, but I still didn’t hear her. There were massive rotating fans above us making it very hard to hear. Regardless of the fans, I find I have a tough time hearing people even when there aren’t background noises.

Frustrated, she swiftly walked over to me like she was going to punch me and yelled “WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE?” Obviously any sort of connection was immediately thrown out the window after this declaration of war. She even went so far as to roll her eyes and mumble “God” under her breath in the most exasperated tone.

That was the last straw for me. I was over her asshole-like tendencies and I was tired of being neutral in every confrontation. Normally I am of the speak softly and carry a big stick school of thought. At that moment, I threw that stick as far as I could throw it.

“Calm the fuck down,” I said slowly to her with a don’t fuck with me look, “I didn’t hear you,” I said in a very clipped tone. I wanted to drive home the point how pissed I was with her, not only for this but her overall coldness towards me. You don’t have to like me; just don’t be a jerk.

I resumed politeness and finished the conversation with, “These are horse totes.”

She was probably pissed at me but realized she had poked the bear one too many times. She nodded her head, turned around and went to her post.

I’d like to say after that confrontation we suddenly realized we had a lot more than we thought in common and began having lunch together. Nope. This hag continues to cc our boss whenever she has confirmed I did something wrong and is still the same ass hole she was when she introduced herself as the runner up.

You were the Runner Up for a reason.



12 thoughts on “Are You Thrown Under the Bus at Work Like Me?

  1. I hate this co-worker and I don’t even know her.

    I feel your pain. I live in a world of favoritism. My boss has her two favorites — they all have matching leather bracelets.

    I don’t even want to talk more about it because it’s the weekend and I plan on not thinking about the people at work who suck.


    1. Leather bracelets? Really? I mean, at any point you would think they would take a look at themselves and think ‘Wow, this is really stupid.’ I’m guessing your boss is part of the 90% of bosses that should not even be in charge of leading a blind man across the street as they would find some way to screw it up. A workplace of favoritism is just another example of a toxic work environment led by a complete knuckle dragger. Good luck my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, and yes, I’m thrown under the bus like you. You are not alone.

    I brought up to the favoritism thing to my boss after enduring weeks of the happy trio always eating lunch together and she told me that she can’t help who her friends are, and that I should go buy by own bracelet if I wanted one.

    I read an article a few weeks ago that said that the boss should NOT have favoritism — breaks down morale (duh) and is a sign of weak leadership / management.


    1. You know, the only solace I find in stressful situations such as these, is that though it may not happen next week, next month or even this year…these people are their own worst enemy. I don’t know your workplace but unless this Mean Girl clique is 65, they probably won’t be retiring from there….together. This isn’t the Beaches movie where they are going to look back on their friendship over the decades in 30 years. They will all go their separate ways and be jerks to other people. My apologies if I’m totally off here.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Boss retires in 6 yrs (that’s the plan). Boss’s sidekick #1 early 40s and sidekick #2 late 30s. Boss will be gone and I’m hoping the dynamic will change. Sidekick #2 will likely become my boss … ugh, only because she’s boss’ favorite and they have had life out of-work-stuff enmeshed together for several years … funny thing is I brought sidekick #2 over to our dept … boss didn’t like her at First thinking she was too inexperienced, and sidekick #1 didn’t like that she was “fat and not hot” (sidekick #1 is a lesbian) …. so just waiting for those 6 yrs to pass. I’ve there 10 yrs already. I’m just shutting my door and trying to keep my nose to the grindstone — I like my actual job — otherwise I would have left yrs ago.

        I read recently that in order to be successful (or to survive basically) you had to have at least 2 of 3 things at your work (awesome if you have all three, of course):
        1) be on-time and have good attendance
        2) be very skillful at your actual job
        3) be friendly AND well-liked.

        I got 2 out of 3 … and it’s not because I don’t try to be friendly. It’s a clique at my work … there are others at work who are out of the clique as well — they have noticed … they don’t care or have resigned themselves that nothing can be done … although I think one chick is clueless about the clique itself.


        1. Wow, if I didn’t know any better, I would guess you work in corporate retail, not that I’ve had experience with that. What a train wreck. Do you write about it? Writing is my therapy. Sounds like you are coping as best as one can.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Corporate retail!? Ha ha ha! Nope, no experience with corporate retail and with that said, I’ll be sure to stay as far away as possible from that arena! It’s a small dept. in a hospital. I plan on doing some more real writing when I get a new blog going. I’ve gone to therapy over my boss and taken depression/anxiety meds because of my boss. I’ve never had someone so insecure and jealous in my life. All previous bosses, exempt the Domino’s Pizza manager (not a real job) have been such amazing people, and inspiring. The weird thing is is that I’m the best me, with the most experience now than I was with the previous awesome sauce bosses. I have never experienced favoritism in a work environs until now. It sucks. It hurts. It’s weird. You just feel so powerless to change the situation … no stellar performance Ffixes it, no perfect attendance … no gifts … nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

            And yes, writing is great therapy. The worst thing about it is that I LOVE my job, but the immediate work group not so much. If I didn’t like my job and care so much about what I did, I’d move on.

            One of the worst types of people to work for, around or even just be around are insecure people … they are the worst. I will take highly anxious, OCD, unkempt, vegan-nazism just to name a few over insecure.

            Thanks for listening. Your check is in the mail! 😉


  3. Congratulations! Unlike your other co-workers, you are obviously the one this insecure idiot sees as the competition! I know it sucks, but this is literally what I tell myself every time I get in the cross hairs of the office mean girls – and I have had one or two at every single job I’ve had. The thing is, just because she sees you as the competition, you don’t have to compete with her – no competition there anyway, right? Put on your power shoes and strut all over that place like you own it!


    1. Thank you for the vote of confidence! I don’t understand why people exhibit this behavior. I mean, what is this middle school? She’s a hot mess….but in a bad way. 😉 Gooduck to you and your hot messes!


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