Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

Why Did God Allow Duck Dynasty?

I have never in my life sat down and watched Duck Dynasty. I never will unless kidnapped and tortured.

I was flipping through the channels and noticed a Jed and Jessica show.

‘That guy looks like one of those Duck Dynasty hayseeds,’ I thought. Turns out it was a spin off of Duck Dynasty.

Just as I was about to turn the channel, the bimbo is on screen holding a baby.

‘That looks like a black baby,’ I thought. How ironic.

Camera goes out, camera comes in again. She is holding a black baby. After googling it, I come to find out they adopted this child,  having 4 children already. Ironically, this adoption occurs after the patriarch hayseed made a few inappropriate comments about black people and lost a gabillion viewers and contracted deals resulting in millions.

“How we gonna turn this back around?” I could see all of them asking at a conference table with their beards.

“Well Jep, uses gonna’ dopt’ a black baby.”

“Just one question,” Jep demands. “Can I keep my man bun?”

Annoyed didn’t do it justice for what I felt. Weren’t they already millionaires for some stupid whistle?

yeah its not about the money
Surely it’s true love. Aside from his money, he is such a catch…..

Seriously, these d-bags gave the Kardashians a run for their money with regards to being the biggest fame horrors I’ve ever seen. It goes…..


Duck Douches

57 Kids and Counting

I pray they adopted this child with loving intentions and he will be treated exactly the same as the 4 biological children. My gut tells me differently and it makes me sad. I say that because if they truly adopted to adopt, they would say to themselves, ‘we are not going to publicize this adoption. We are not going to go on the today show, parading our new son around like a pony to show that this money making empire is not racist. See, hayseed senior has a black grandson.

family photo

Additionally, I saw a man bun and lost it. A man bun on a Duck Dynasty spin off is like having Will Ferrell on C-Span. You just don’t do it. It’s like a bunch of closeted hipsters.

man bun

The wives of this show are fame ho’s if I ever did see one.

“Oh, our knuckle dragging hubbies are making money, selling huntin’ whistles. I’m just gonna take a self defense course cause I’m a scrappy southern belle who needs somethin’ fun to do!” He-he…..

Essentially, these women are “the real housewives” just with bearded husbands. I just threw up in my mouth due to all of this.

8 thoughts on “Why Did God Allow Duck Dynasty?

  1. I watched Duck Dynasty a long time ago before it started seeming a little TOO scripted. Which is annoying as hell, even though I know reality shows are always scripted. I just don’t want it blatantly obvious, you know? I don’t think them adopting a black baby has anything to do with it being ‘just for show.’ The main person in DD adopted a mixed race kid in 2001 – far before their show/fame came around. Their family has done multiple fostering and adoptions of kids. I think they have good intentions. But… the man bun? I’m with you on that. What the hell is with that fad? Ick

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My husband has long hair, he wears it in a ponytail. He has let me braid it down his back. I know there is no way he would allow me to put it in a bun. I don’t even want to try. I agree that they are stupid. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I, too, wonder about how appropriate it is for them to adopt a baby of a different ethnicity. I would hope that adoption agencies place babies in homes that are non judgmental and as appropriate as possible. Love is not always enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t get the man bun hate. I know know nothing about duck dynasty – but my coworker went on a rant about the man bun too and its been on my mind. Hes a straight male so his hate isn’t aesthetic, which, I kind of get. I’m not getting any sexy vibe from the man bun.

    But he was just so upset about its very existence. He seems to feel it is a hipster badge. But he wears his hair long, which I THINK but I’m 51, so don’t quote me, is also currently labeled hipster.

    Of course long hair is also old school, so maybe not. I’m obviously NOT really clear on what hipster is, I just get that people look down on them for mysterious reasons. Possibly to do with plaid. I am not a fan of plaid so I can get on board with that.

    I’m not sure why the hate for the man bun and I didn’t want to say so to him because obviously that would prove I was WAY out of touch and he thinks I’m kind of with it because I do Reddit. I hate to break these fragile delusions young people hold about me.

    Anyway – long ramble short – what is wrong with the man bun again? Its different, its the “latest” whatever it is. But is it just because its not normal or is it that being a hipster is uncool?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would have to say neither reason for me. When I gauge what is attractive on a man for me personally, I find the bun a complete turn off. Some women may find the bun completely awesome and that’s cool. I just know the bun to me is like when a man wears nail polish. That’s another thing I find unattractive. From my vantage point, people dislike hipsters because hipsters make every effort to reject mainstream. In turn, mainstream rejects them for rejecting them. It’s a vicious cycle, I just probably confused things and I need a glass of wine. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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