Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

I Don’t Want to Go to Your Stupid Party! K?

I have been invited to and attended the following home parties at some point over my 21 years of attending parties:

  • Tupperware
  • 39 Gifts
  • Longaberger
  • Mary Kay
  • Scensty
  • Pampered Chef
  • Pure Romance
  • Origami Owl

I don’t even want to know how much I’ve spent at these parties. What made me think of this topic was the following message I received via Facebook this afternoon:

Scentsy Party Invite

I was so frustrated, I didn’t even respond. What part of not interested was she not understanding? I am past the point of buying specialty candles anywhere other than Target or Kroger. This was no exception.

We have had little to no communication especially after she left our neighborhood. Now she is having a Scentsy party back in my neighborhood, at her ex husband’s house? Something smells fishy. See what I did there? With the scented candles and smells fish…..well I thought it was clever, damn it!

 

The worst part about attending these parties is towards the end when the consultant announces,

“Ok, who wants to host another party so your friend will get not only the free magnet but all debts will be paid off and her children sent to college?”

Suddenly this is the point during the party where everyone seems to be whistling, looking off into the distance, not making eye contact with the consultant or the party host. One guest has jumped up to get more spinach and artichoke dip while another is taking their sweet time in the bathroom. Someone always bites the bullet though and agrees to host another party, thus continuing the vicious cycle.

For shits and giggles I thought I would respond back this evening to another “consultant” that has been sending me Facebook messages for over a month. I’ve made a point to ignore them. She is a Pure Romance consultant I’ve bought a lot from and she clearly wants me to buy more. By the time I finish this article, we will see if she has responded back.

Mary Kay PropositionI received this Facebook message about becoming a Mary Kay consultant almost a month ago. I was in awe of how stupid this was. First of all, this girl that I forget from high school (I think we went to the same high school??) lives 3 states away. What did she think was going to happen? That she was building her national empire of Mary Kay Consultants, 1 Facebook message at a time? I can’t imagine 1 person responding with “COUNT ME IN! Let’s do this!”

Full disclosure, 9 years ago I joined the cult of Mary Kay for a few months. I was making peanuts at work, my son was a baby and I thought, why not. That is for another post though-my experience at Mary Kay.

 

 

 

The one party I did enjoy going to was a Tupperware party. You have to hear me out on this, ok? My sister invited me to it. Unlike most Tupperware parties occurring at someone’s house, this was to be held in a swanky part of downtown. I was intrigued.

“She’s the #1 Tupperware consultant.” My sister gushed.

“Great,” I said with about as much enthusiasm as Jeb Bush’s enthusiasm in running for President.

“And she’s a drag queen,” she added.

I spit out my latte.

“Come again?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s her thing. She is completely entertaining and it sounds hilarious. We should totally go.”

All she had to do was put Drag Queen into anything and I’m game.

Tupperware day came and we filed into a smallish room located on the second floor of a business. With about 50 chairs, it was tight, not swanky and not what I expected. All was forgiven once Dee walked in.

Dee was everything I could have asked for and then some. She wore a Texas size blonde wig, daisy dukes, a gingham shirt knotted in the middle with what was probably balled up socks making her boobs. Her act was that she was white trash, from the South and loved to cook (I think that was her thing). Dee had no problem dropping F bombs and using 4 letter words to describe burping the tupperware. Below is a picture we took with Dee. It’s my BFF on the left, me, my sister then Dee. Just kidding. It’s my BFF, me, Dee then my sister:

hot mess tupperware party
BEST TUPPERWARE PARTY EVER!

So how about you? Are you asked all the time to join the cult or go to parties? It drives me insane!

 

 

 

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25 thoughts on “I Don’t Want to Go to Your Stupid Party! K?

  1. Over here in Europe, there is Tupperware, too. I went once to a party, a friend’s wife hosted and I thought it was the most stupid, time wasting thing I ever attented. Why would I pay the asked amounts of money for plastic ware, that at stores is thrown at you for cents? I felt utterly displaced (as I was in no way buying anything of the host) and very bored. And then we have another company with cleaning agents, doing the same thing. I got trapped with one of those, being invited under a false pretence. Same thing, didn’t buy anything and left asap.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t ever feel obliged to buy. This is what these parties are designed to do: create enough peer pressure to have everybody cave in. But I think it is allright to nicely thank the host for the hospitality and flee as soon as you can.

        Like

  2. Wait… you didn’t join Mary Kay again? What about the REALLY CUTE BAG you would have got?!!! Psht. I HATE those parties. Hate hate hate. All of my cousins are doing “ItWorks” and every time I see their posts about it on Facebook I want to punch myself. The only would you’d ever catch me going to are the sex toy parties. A girl’s gotta have standards.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. We don’t really have Tupperware parties in Ireland (although I’m sure they’re floating around somewhere) but I have been to Avon parties (make up, clothes, perfumes etc) which were held by my friend and she made them good. I also worked for Ann Summers (lingerie, adult toys etc) so I can relate to how they were trying to get your to book but I was never that desperado. Ann Summers sorta sold themselves either for the products or because you play games at it.Also, if you had just said you had soccer then fair enough her offering to drop a catalogue around, because maybe you are interested. But when you said you were saving she should have accepted that. No money = no money. What use is the catalogue, can you rub it on you to small like the candles?!?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this post! I used to NOT go to the parties but just buy one small thing from anyone I was invited to instead. One month that came out to like 200 bucks, and I said f**k this. Since then I’ve just declined openly any and all invites to these things.

    But you know what they’ve started to do? Online parties! So you can join in your PJs at home! Dude, if I want something bad enough I am going to buy it on Amazon.

    I always buy from kids selling stuff though.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t know. I mean the drag queen is a big pull, but TUPPERWARE. The last one I got roped into, I was sitting next to my best friend and she is in a conversation with a stranger who lost her husband 6 months before.

    I know my best friend and I knew that the next thing out of her mouth after hearing this is going to be HOW DID HE DIE? And so I kicked her to stop what would no doubt spiral into a horror show of awkward moments, tears AND tupperware.

    She continues to be baffled by why I didn’t want to add tears to the tupperware nightmare.

    He died of Lyme Disease, in case you were wondering.

    I am NEVER going to another tupperware party. These things are sponsored by Hell. You will never convince me otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I. HATE. WHEN. PEOPLE. TRY. TO. SELL. YOU. SHIT.

    I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY hate these parties and products and phoniness.

    I have a coworker who sells Scentsy at work and when I wrote a formal complaint I was ignored even though I work at a large company and there is a written policy that you cannot sell and distribute products from another company where you work during time on the clock. My boss ignored this because she was one of the biggest buyers! This coworker, also gives out a paper-scented fragrance Scentsy thingy every Christmas as her Christmas gift.

    I want to gag.

    Here’s my other 2 Scentsy … I mean two cents … one time I was getting gas and some random chick pops my way and tells me who lovely my eyelashes are, asking what product I use. I tell her Maybelline or some other grocery strore brand. Then she spouts into her spiel giving me her Mary Fucking Kay card. I wanted to the bitchslap all the fake makeup off and fakeness out of her at that moment. I threw the card in the trash in front of her and kindly said, because I *can* be nice, “No thank you.”

    Grrrrrrrrrr! I have a lot more to say, but I’m going to go look up: “ItWorks” just to be in the know … not to join or host any gawdess-damn party!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I really like sensy, which is the fake candles 😉 and my cousin has just given up work to do something similar, which is great it works for her.

    But now people have given up asking me as my response is always the same. “You want someone who is agrophobic to not only leave their house but then sit in a crowded room with a bunch of strangers. And the government deem me crazy

    Liked by 1 person

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