Last night I received the following text from best friend.
On occasion I get random texts such as these from her and its code for my children are driving me crazy. E is my best friend for over 25 years. We met in middle school and couldn’t be more different. I was into fashion and while she was still rockin’ what I like to refer to as the Buster Brown Hair for the past few decades, our humor has easily kept us together as best friends.
As E and I became mothers, I appreciated that she wasn’t a fake mother. Her actions weren’t, and still not contrived. What I mean is you know that mother who has approximately 75 Pinterest Boards all dedicated to things like playful kids snacks or activities to do instead of playing outside or soccer mom craft ideas? That mother!
There is nothing worse then going to a kid’s birthday party and the kid finding out the “swag bag” that they are used to getting has now been replaced by an adorable pinterest craft that oddly resembles a stick figure. Said stick figure is made out of string cheese, grapes, a mini pringle cup and pretzels. My kids look up at me with a ‘what the fuck?’ look. I give them a knowing nod, subliminally telling them, ‘I know.’ Sadly that example came easy because that is exactly what they received in lieu of candy and party favors a few months ago.
“Oh how adorable,” I cooed to the mom, meanwhile thinking in my head ‘really ass hole? Really? Fruit?’
In addition to my best friend being honest when it comes to being a mom, I love that she is feels comfortable sending me texts like the above. I, in turn, send very similar texts:
“I’m in fetal position right now, sucking my thumb and rocking back and forth.”
“I am an empty shell. I am hiding in the bathroom right now.”
All I’m saying is no one should EVER fault a mom for saying motherhood is tough, or complaining or drinking an entire bottle of wine after a tough day, no one. Additionally, no mother should feel like they have to do some stupid craft to keep up with the delusional mother who feels this is the only way to show love towards your kid.
If I had to pick a slogan for motherhood, it would be the Peace Corp slogan: The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love.