Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

Stick Figure Bumper Stickers and Other Driving Pet Peeves

On one of my long commutes home from work, I had an idea for a post related to driving, cars, etc. Why not discuss all of the annoying observations of our fellow motorists? So from my perspective, here are just a few of my observations:

    1. Hummers- Question for you, weren’t Hummers invented for the military? If the answer is yes, then why is a 120 lb soccer mom named Amy driving around in yellow one? I just don’t understand the allure of driving a vehicle better suited for a war torn country….not the Midwest.
    2. Vanity Plates- So let me get this straight, you have to pay to have a special word put on your license plate? But then you’ll realize someone already has that word so you completely jumble it, using numbers just to convey the word Mommy? What purpose does this serve other than me almost crashing into your car trying to figure out the ironic word you are making out of tr8ng.
    3. The “not really secured” load- Ever get behind a half-secured load of debris, logs, metal piping….whatever, and think to yourself ‘if that comes loose, I’m totally getting decapitated.”
    4. The Sonic Boom- Often times you hear the train wreck before the train wreck has come into view. How can someone find listening to multiple sonic booms enjoyable? I want to ask them, “can you hear anything other than BOOM, BOOM, BOOM? Do you have a hearing aid?” It’s really bad when you can hear their windows vibrate, or worse, your windows.
    5.  Tinted windows- Tinted windows are fine within reason but when you roll your window down 7″ in the dead of Winter so everyone can see how bad ass you are, then you just made me throw up in my mouth.
    6. Stick figure family- I would say this is my #1 pet peeve. No offense but I don’t care about your family. If anything, the #1 thought that goes through my head when I see the family of stick figures is, ‘Jesus Christ, how many kids does this family have?’ Then they add the family pets and I want to scream. Additionally you have the moron parent that adds names to each figure which I’m sure every pedophile drools over now they know 1 more thing about your kid. I believe like the vanity plates, you should be required to pay a tax for every figure you put on your car. Maybe you’ll think twice about adding it to the back of your stupid yellow hummer.

So do you have driving pet peeves? What are they? What can I add to the list?

P.S. Looks like we have these ass holes to thank:

driving pet peeves- stick figure people

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30 thoughts on “Stick Figure Bumper Stickers and Other Driving Pet Peeves

    1. OMG….what was I thinking? How could I forget that one. That is right up there with stick figures! Every week I’m screaming in my car “F!@$*&$ MOVE OVER!!!” Seriously, they have no idea the level of craziness I could be packing!

      Liked by 1 person

                1. I just love how bikers make believe they are cars by signaling with their hands. Unless its an old school bike with a big ass seat, riding a bike is like riding a deformed banana.

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  1. Right now it’s scooters. In S. Korea, pretty much every place that can deliver food, does. You want McDonalds or Burger King but you can’t leave your office? They will deliver to you! So they have these scooters that decide the sidewalk is where they need to drive. It’s a dangerous thing being a pedestrian!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think you’re mis-reading the Amy Situation. The Hummer that Amy is driving wasn’t designed for war-torn Somewhere. It was designed so Amy can advertise she has no discernment or taste, and therefore no ability to maneuver (including park) her land yacht. Hummers are to now what these were to then (http://tinyurl.com/hwzkpsy).

    The fact that Amy has a personalized number plate on her stupid Hummer just underscores the level of ineptitude with which Amy is imbued.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A woman like that also feels pink jogging suits are acceptable apparel…for every event since she spent $200 to have JUICY written on her ass. I laughed when I clicked on those cars. What decade was that? I thought late 70’s, early 80’s? Modern day West Virgina?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. How could I have forgotten the pink jogging suit and the Juicy Ass?!

        I don’t know exactly when those cars were made, they’re fairly ludicrous cars (so you can see the Hummer comparison easily). The same company that made those vehicular atrocities, by the way, is the same company that makes the Hummer (GM).

        Yeehaw!

        Liked by 2 people

          1. Not at all. GM owns Cadillac, and owned Hummer before they discontinued the brand. It’s worth noting, that the Actual Proper Hummer (H1 in todayspeak) was NOT built by GM, hence its actual value in military operations.

            When GM (rightly) went Tango Uniform a few years ago needing the public to bail its worthless carcass out, Hummer was among the deserving casualties like Saturn, Pontiac.

            Liked by 1 person

  3. I think my biggest pet peeve drivers are the jerks who are in a LEFT TURN ONLY lane waiting at the red light, and they decide to roll all the way forward into the crosswalk. Not only is this illegal/dangerous for any pedestrians who want to use said crosswalk, it’s also obnoxious as heck for those of us turning right on red, since they’re so far forward we can’t see if traffic is coming or not.

    *end rant*

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  4. I’m up with all the pet peeves listed. Not sure if this counts but I cannot stand when a smoker tosses their cigarette out of the car. What a litter fuck. Taking your stinking butt (and I mean ciggie butt) and throw it away properly @sshat!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. PS: Another pet peeve, people who have LONG, very LONG things sticking out of the bed of their truck without a orange tag thingy tied to it.

    Also, not a big fan of driving behind huge trucks, suburbans, mini-vans, hummers and pimped out sedans with spiky rims.

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