Family · Ridiculousness · soccer

We’re Goin’ on a Road Trip Friends!

Grab your weekend bag and some wine because we’re goin’ on a road trip! via We’re Goin’ on a Road Trip Friends! – Hot Mess Memoir

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Family · parenting · Rants · Ridiculousness

Chores

I don’t think I ask for a lot from my kids. But when I ask for chores to be done, you’d think I’d asked for an addition to be built onto the home! Read about the struggle via Chores – Hot Mess Memoir

Family · parenting · Ridiculousness

So I’m Not the Only Parent Ignored by Their Teenager?

Despite asking my 13-year-old several times for pics from his Washington DC school trip, I’ve received none. Turns out, I’m not the only one being ignored by their teenager. Click here to read the hilarious screen shots of other parents being ignored via So I’m Not the Only Parent Ignored by Their Teenager? – Hot Mess Memoir

Family · parenting · soccer

How to Be a Decent Human Being as a Soccer Mom or Dad

I’ve done so many “how to be a decent human being” posts (you can find those at my self-hosted blog in the top menu btw) via How to Be a Decent Human Being as a Soccer Mom or Dad – Hot Mess Memoir

Family · parenting · podcast · Ridiculousness

Laundry- Podcast 6

In today’s podcast, we are ranting about laundry! Folding it, putting it away, even dealing with foling a fitted sheet. Come along on this “journey” via Laundry- Podcast 6 – Hot Mess Memoir

Family · parenting · Ridiculousness

Classy Lady- A Lesson in What Not to do as a Parent!

While working out last week, I watched a woman have a meltdown in front of her kid that would make a toddler’s meltdown seem mild….via Classy Lady – Hot Mess Memoir

Family · parenting · Ridiculousness

Get Air Indoor Trampoline Park

I’m just going to say it, Get Air is the waiting room of hell. Check out my latest post via Get Air Indoor Trampoline Park – Hot Mess Memoir

blogging · Family · podcast · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

Subscription Boxes Podcast Episode 4

We’re diggin’ deep into subscription boxes and how I can’t wrap my head around it! Listen, like and follow via Subscription Boxes Podcast Episode 4 – Hot Mess Memoir

Family · parenting · Ridiculousness

The 10-Year-Old Vs. the 42-Year-Old

As my son slid gracefully down the basement stair steps, I kinda became envious and wanted to mimic him. Unfortunately, I did not have the same swan-like success. Here are the videos of him vs. me. 🙂 via The 10-Year-Old Vs. the 42-Year-Old – Hot Mess Memoir

Family · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

The Homewrecker that is Monopoly

If you want a game that tears families apart, play Monopoly. It will make siblings not talk to each other for days and children angry at their parents. Go on, I dare you.

Let me first say, I LOVE Monopoly. I have been playing it since I was probably 12. In addition to my Father owning a restaurant, he was also Real Estate Agent. This made him an automatic lover of Monopoly. Because he worked 70 hours a week, we would really only play it once a year- during our mini vacation to Port Clinton, Ohio. On the 1 night we were guaranteed it would rain, my dad would spread the board out as I fought with my sisters on which piece we would be. I always wanted to be the car. Who wanted to be the stupid candlestick? The candlestick is so stupid. This isn’t CLUE here peoples.

2.5 hours after the game began, I was cashing in every property and white, 1 dollar bill I had to pay my Father the Boardwalk rent I owed. I had clearly copped an attitude and was a little bitch for the remainder of the night.

Fast forward 25 years and I began to play with my oldest. A few years later I taught my youngest. Both caught on easily yet every single time we played ended in a meltdown. I even have the oldest on video crying and screaming.

“But I never LOST! You don’t know what it feels like!” It’s the funniest thing.

Today I had a plan that was fail proof and resulted in more time with my sons and bonding between brothers.

“Boys, I have a proposition for you.” I announced as they slayed another pirate in Assassin’s Creed.

“At 3 I want to play you both as a team. If you guys win, I will buy you Shamrock Shakes. If you loose, you have to clean the junk drawer.”

Both of them were on board in minutes and I thought I had finally found a plan where it wouldn’t result in sending one or both to their rooms.

At first both of them were on fire. They both rolled one dice each and always seemed to get doubles. They were buying up properties left and right. They were making bogus deals with me that I was gun ho about, just so I could loose and they could win.

Then shit hit the fan. For once, things went my way by every stupid roll of the dice. Actually irony kicked in and I guess things didn’t go my way, which was to loose. Every f’ing turn I would skip their 3 properties laden with houses. I would always land on free parking and collect the dough.

In turn, the boys had the opposite luck. They landed on the “income tax” 3 times in a row where you have to pay 10% of their money or $200. They went to jail twice. They landed on my railroads twice in a row then landed on my property where they were to pay me $200 but I lied and said only $100. When I said “don’t worry about paying me,” P became the martyr and wouldn’t hear of it. C began to cry at every roll. They took turns earlier reading the chance and community chest cards. Now they were fighting over who’s turn it was.

I tried to explain to them that what they thought was a bad situation wasn’t bad at all. Despite me having $700, they had 4 houses per property which equated to a combined total of $600. Did I do the math right?

“Can we just quit now and clean the junk drawer?” C asked.

“No! I want you to keep playing!” I was determined to loose more than ever.

“What? You want us to keep playing so you can watch us loose more?” P asked in a snotty tone.

“Oh my God, no. I’m just saying things aren’t as bad as you think they are.”

Then of course they land on one of my properties that has a house and I miss their houses again.

“I’M DONE!” P announces in anger.

C walks over and begins to clean out the junk drawer.

“Don’t you dare clean out that junk drawer!” I said firmly. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to work! I was gonna’ get you guys shamrock shakes regardless!”

Meanwhile my husband is muttering under his breath, “I don’t even know why you try this game with them. It’s always a disaster.”

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I was so frustrated. I just went up to our bathroom and cried.

After I composed myself, I came back downstairs, got my jacket on and announced I was getting shamrock shakes. I think my boys felt bad by now because P said,

“You don’t have to get them if you don’t want to.”

“No, I’ll get them. Just know, I think we are going to wait a few more years till we play Monopoly again. It’s not worth the meltdowns.”

Surprisingly, neither protested. Ok, so lay it on me…..tell me how much you HATE Monopoly and how long it takes. I can take it, I’m a big girl….but if you ever want to play……