Ridiculousness · Work

Free Cubicle Mate Application – Hot Mess Memoir

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Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

Stick Figure Bumper Stickers and Other Driving Pet Peeves

On one of my long commutes home from work, I had an idea for a post related to driving, cars, etc. Why not discuss all of the annoying observations of our fellow motorists? So from my perspective, here are just a few of my observations:

    1. Hummers- Question for you, weren’t Hummers invented for the military? If the answer is yes, then why is a 120 lb soccer mom named Amy driving around in yellow one? I just don’t understand the allure of driving a vehicle better suited for a war torn country….not the Midwest.
    2. Vanity Plates- So let me get this straight, you have to pay to have a special word put on your license plate? But then you’ll realize someone already has that word so you completely jumble it, using numbers just to convey the word Mommy? What purpose does this serve other than me almost crashing into your car trying to figure out the ironic word you are making out of tr8ng.
    3. The “not really secured” load- Ever get behind a half-secured load of debris, logs, metal piping….whatever, and think to yourself ‘if that comes loose, I’m totally getting decapitated.”
    4. The Sonic Boom- Often times you hear the train wreck before the train wreck has come into view. How can someone find listening to multiple sonic booms enjoyable? I want to ask them, “can you hear anything other than BOOM, BOOM, BOOM? Do you have a hearing aid?” It’s really bad when you can hear their windows vibrate, or worse, your windows.
    5.  Tinted windows- Tinted windows are fine within reason but when you roll your window down 7″ in the dead of Winter so everyone can see how bad ass you are, then you just made me throw up in my mouth.
    6. Stick figure family- I would say this is my #1 pet peeve. No offense but I don’t care about your family. If anything, the #1 thought that goes through my head when I see the family of stick figures is, ‘Jesus Christ, how many kids does this family have?’ Then they add the family pets and I want to scream. Additionally you have the moron parent that adds names to each figure which I’m sure every pedophile drools over now they know 1 more thing about your kid. I believe like the vanity plates, you should be required to pay a tax for every figure you put on your car. Maybe you’ll think twice about adding it to the back of your stupid yellow hummer.

So do you have driving pet peeves? What are they? What can I add to the list?

P.S. Looks like we have these ass holes to thank:

driving pet peeves- stick figure people

Family · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

My Personal Pet Peeves. Are These Yours?

These are my own personal pet peeves. Please note that I’m not a complainer and if I express these out loud, it’s only to make fun of them. Normally I keep them tucked away inside. Here is what annoys me:

  1. The confusion around the bakery and lunch line at Panera. If I’m ordering a latte do I go in the bakery or lunch lane? I don’t know.
  2. People behind you who flash their lights several times. Are they warning the people on the other side? Are they trying to tell me something? I’m not psychic!
  3. The person at the gas station line who has had a solid 2 minutes to pull out there form of payment only to wait till they get to the attendant to pay. Actually this happens anywhere.
  4. Putting the toilet paper roll on wrong. I think we all know which way it goes.
  5. People who find it acceptable to burp loudly in public.
  6. Leaving 3 squares of toilet paper on the roll so technically they didn’t leave an empty roll AND they don’t have to change it.
  7. The person who feels the need to talk on the cell phone while checking out, in a public restroom or grocery shopping.
  8. Kohls.
  9. The person that has an assigned side dish for a meal at your home and brings all the ingredients to your home to prepare it there, rather then dirty any of their dishes.
  10. Facebook game invites….over and over and over again.
  11. Periods
  12. The person that is invited to your BYOB event, doesn’t bring anything to drink because “they aren’t going to drink tonight” then proceeds to polishes off 2/3 of one of your bottles of wine.
  13. The person that sends you an e-mail, waits 2 minutes after sending it to find you to ask “did you get my e-mail?”
  14. Skinny people announcing they are fat.
  15. Someone using the 15 items or less aisle to check out with their 30 items.
  16. Blue Tooth Headsets.
  17. Completely inaccurate recipes that after following it to a t for over an hour, it tastes like ass.
  18. Buy 2, get 1 free deals. I don’t need 3 grills!
    Thought of this one in the shower:
    That 1 stray pubic hair you forgot to get and don’t notice till in your bathing suit at the pool.

So pretty much the overall theme here are oblivious people. I want to know what your pet peeves are! Did I touch on any of them?