About

It was once suggested I start a blog because as he put it, “funny always finds me.” ‘A blog?’ I thought. Do people still do that?  I put it off and put it off vowing to put everything in my books.

“Books?” you ask.

Yes. I’ve written a few books because I have A LOT of hilarious stories to tell. I am in waiting mode now to actually do something with my stories. In the mean time, I continue to write and learn more and more on how to improve my writing without loosing any of the humor.

I once had an offer from a very old cowboy to help me publish my books. He himself published a book about his love for his wife. Awwww…When I told him my books are funny because they are pretty inappropriate he suddenly narrowed his eyes and sternly asked in a much lower tone,

“Now there isn’t anything racy in there? Like sexual innuendos?”

I debated for a few seconds on how to respond since my writing is completely inappropriate. I decided to take the high road and not ruffle his bible pages.

“No, absolutely not,” I declared. ” Just some cursing because I am quoting someone that cursed,” I said sweetly. It was as if I had never heard a curse word and my virgin ears would fall off should fuck skim them.

His concerned look quickly turned to approval and he handed me his card. 10 minutes later I ripped it up, threw it in the trash and said “fuck that”under my breath.

So where does the hot mess come in to play?

  • When I want to see updated photos of my younger sister who resides in Florida, I don’t go to Facebook or Instagram. I google her most recent mug shots.
  • My mother lives on a boat that she likes to refer to as her “yacht”. I speculate it’s probably one of those where you lift a cushion up to find a toilet.
  • My run ins with now not famous people and how I attempted to communicate with them and feel the pain of stardom.
  • My mother is on a constant search for the perfect sugar daddy though I don’t know what you call it when you are the same age as said sugar daddy? Sweet-n-Old?
  • My ADD, depression and lastly my recent diagnosis of atypical ductal hyperplasia. 

I want to stay anonymous for a little while in an effort to not get fired or piss off peeps I love. Just come visit me often and eventually I will introduce myself. 12325216_976069379105683_743398994_n

25 thoughts on “About

  1. I LOVE your blog and wrote this about your guest post with Blair.
    That was so funny! I have an alternative t-shirt. She could have one in green with Mullingar Heifer on it. Her colleagues will think she is really into livestock and not get that it is an Irish snarky phrase “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, she has legs like a Mullingar Heifer”. Stocky but has nice ankles. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First let me say thank you! I am so grateful that people enjoyed my story. It gives me a little shred of hope this current train wreck isn’t for nothing. Now, I have to know, where in God’s name do I get this shirt? You are right….so perfect! Do I need to raise funds to fly to Ireland for it? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. With thanks to Chatty Kerry for leading me to your blog … I am SO glad to have found you! I shall follow and then find more to read as I go along. Small brain, tiny attention span but I find my way 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha!!! That is awesome! Thank you for following. I love telling my stories and/or putting my perspective on things. I’m quickly finding I’m not the only hot mess in the world nor the only person that has dealt with some of my situations. Have a great Saturday Osyth!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Next time a repressed old cowboy aims his disapproval at you like a pitchfork, say, “Fuck, no, I’m never racy. Crotchless panties are just healthier in the summertime. You know, breathable.”

    You were going to tear up the card anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Fucking hilarious is what I have to say!!!! I am here today via nod from “NO LOVE FOR FATTIES!” I am Annette from Annette’s place. Yup, that is me… yes….yup I am the famous one that conducted the interview that set *no love for fatties* blogger to stardom. lol……I am so funny! Oh, guess who I want to make more famous than her sisters mug friggen shots????? HUH???? Yes….yes…you and me girl…haha

    Seriously, I do want to interview you and I am here by recommendation. I like your writing style and your humor. I try to be funny but I can only smile and smile and laugh till I pee…..Yes yes that is me the girl with depends on at the comedy show….the one with the toilet paper sticking out of her skirt and her skirt is bunched up so you really get a look at those depends….lol

    Ok, seriously now…I am following you and I will get to know you via your blog and posts then I would like you to email me when you can. I will email you back when your interview number comes up. Which will probably be after the A to Z challenge. Or, end of april for final interview. I will send you questions via email addy you email me with closer to that time. I think we can put together a great collaborating of humor and throw in our book smarts and wow we have a best seller here. I hope you will concede to me and say yes….I am a bit pushy!!

    Until next time your new friend, Annette 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am eating my single serving of pizza combos and drinking a glass of cabernet right now taking in your generous comment. How can we rocket this hilariousness to stardom? I’m down, just need to pick up the combo that just fell off the arm rest….God damn combo!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol funny this will be great! I will be in touch. But, please be patient with me I have a few people that volunteered I need to do. I also have April all booked up with project challenge stuff. I do want you though….thanks alot! 🙂 I will be reading!

        Like

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